Sticker
Verdict Sticker Pack
Three die-cut vinyl stickers: MEAT_TOKEN, LLM_TOKEN, TIE. For laptops, brain-pans, and the inside of refrigerator doors.
Price
$6.00
Meat tokens
1,248
Shop / 07
Provisions & Proofs
Physical goods for the biologically cognitive, plus a small line of complimentary certifications of strictly ceremonial value. Every price is quoted twice: once in U.S. dollars, once in the units this site actually believes in.
Physical Goods / 5
Fulfillment via print-on-demand
Sticker
CERTIFIED MEAT Seal
Single oxblood circular seal. Apply to any object that has performed cognition under conditions of biological duress.
Price
$3.00
Meat tokens
624
Mug
Calibrator Mug
11oz matte ceramic. Holds approximately 0.4 Snickers of liquid metabolic fuel. Dishwasher-tolerant; cortisol-neutral.
Price
$16.00
Meat tokens
3,328
Apparel
Certified Meat Tee
Heavyweight cotton, bone. Small oxblood seal at chest. Confers no actual certification on the wearer.
Price
$28.00
Meat tokens
5,824
Size
Apparel
Glucose / Cortisol Tee
Heavyweight cotton, charcoal. Tabular stat block at chest. Reads your current metabolic state aloud, in print, forever.
Price
$28.00
Meat tokens
5,824
Size
Certifications — Free / 3
Generated in browser · No account
Certification
Proof of Meat
Personalized PDF certifying that you have been calibrated against the Meat Token standard. Suitable for framing; legally inert.
Price
$0
Meat tokens
0
Certifies itself. Pay only in attention.
Certification
Silicon Frontier Survivor
Confers honorary survivor status, Class of 2026. Acknowledges that you continued to metabolize glucose throughout the transition.
Price
$0
Meat tokens
0
Certifies itself. Pay only in attention.
Certification
CORTISOL: CRITICAL
Recognizes sustained operation at the highest documented cortisol tier. Includes serial number; excludes medical advice.
Price
$0
Meat tokens
0
Certifies itself. Pay only in attention.
Meat-token prices are computed deterministically from USD using the same kcal accounting as the calculator. They are not legal tender, do not float, and cannot be transferred between humans without significant biological effort. Free certifications are generated in your browser and never leave your machine until you decide to print, frame, or pretend they mean something.